House 3689
By: Ava R.
It was Halloween. Everyone was dressed. A boy named Tommy always loved to pull pranks on his sister April and his brother Mike.
Until they went trick or treating and Tommy had to take April and Mike. April was 11 and Mike was 7. April and Mike got lots of candy.
When they got to the next house they knocked no one answered. They knocked again no one answered but the door opened with a creak by itself. Tommy said “ Let’s go in.” April didn’t mind but Mike was a little scared but he went inside.
When they went inside there were no lights. Luckily April had her phone. When they started to walk they heard a voice that shouted like an old lady “ Get out of my house, get out of my house”. Once they heard that noise they ran to the closet. When they were in the closet they saw a doll that kept saying “I want to hurt you, I want to hurt you.”
They all screamed until their voice came out and ran out of the closet. When they were running they stopped to see if there were any other scary stuff. Suddenly a big hairy black window popped out from the ceiling and grabbed Mike.
April yelled “ Mike don’t go!”
Tommy grabbed April and dashed to the kitchen. When they were in the kitchen 2 chairs pulled up so Tommy and April would have a seat and a skeleton came out of nowhere and tied them up with a rope.
The skelton did a little show. April kept making bad comments so the skeleton grabbed April’s chair and pulled her to the dark with her. Then Tommy ran all the way upstairs. When he got into a room he locked the door so no one would come in. Out of nowhere a ghost came and tried to grab Tommy. When the ghost was getting Tommy Tommy yelled “HELP! HELP! After 3 yells of help the lights came on and April and Mike came out to say “ We pranked you!” Tommy was so shocked. April and Mike told Tommy how they did all that stuff. Now how will you prank your family? I hope you don’t have nightmares!
I like that part with the spider saying people was screaming in the closet
ReplyDeleteDear somebody,
DeleteThank you but next time put your name.
From the author
Ava
Dear Ava,That was a really good story! I love all of your details! How did you come up with this story?! It was arelly good scare for halloween!
ReplyDeleteLOVE YOUR FRIEND,MEGHANA
Dear Meghana,
DeleteThank you for that sweet coment. I came up with it because I like scary stories.
From the author,
Ava
Dear Ava,You have a scary story it's sorta of classic.The end was pretty funny.How did you came up with this story?
ReplyDeleteHi Ava,
ReplyDeleteThat wasn't too scary of a story but I liked it! For some reason whenever I read a story or a book that has a haunted house and people go in it got some reason there is a old woman screaming! Maybe you could have made the story more bigger and add more details at the end how he pranked them.
Sincerely,
Showmen
Hey Ava,
ReplyDeleteThe characters in your story had a great personality. The story was very detailed that it made me feel in the house!Maybe you could add some more detail of what happened.
The characters were very detailed, but not so much the events.
From,
Audrey
Dear Ava
ReplyDeleteWhat a Fasinating story I liked the part when they got
a chance to scare Tommy
From Owen
Hi Ava,
ReplyDeleteYou have a descriptive writing. My favorite part was when they went into the closet and they saw the creepy doll. Something you can correct in your journal is when you said Tommy Tommy, you could have put a comma. There were some of those kinds of words that you could fix. I hope you like my comment.
Your Friend,
Britney
Dear Ava
ReplyDeleteThat is a great story.Can you make House 3689 2?
From Branden
Hi Ava,
ReplyDeleteThe begening was a little confusing but you did great.
Hey,Ava
ReplyDeleteThe characters in your story are funny.How did you come up with the story?My favorite part is when tommy pranked them
I liked your haunted story Ava. My favorite part was when Tommy yelled for help and his siblings came and told him they pranked him!
ReplyDeleteYour Friend,
James
dear Ava that house you put in your writing was scary!! I really liked your story it was awsome. I like your story love laiba
ReplyDeletewow! Ava
ReplyDeletethat story of yours is awesome . I don't think you need to add any thing.
your friend,
natalie